You know you're old when...........

......someone calls you "feisty".  That's definitely code for you're energetic, but old.  That's what one of the young(er) teachers I always meet in the locker room called me today, as I was regaling her with tales of people I can't stand in the pool -- the ones with no lane etiquette.  And believe me, there are plenty.  But she did add I had "attitude", which I took as a compliment.   

"Hey Nancy, hi!" called one of the young lifeguards when I walked onto the deck this morning.  This was young "M", someone I hadn't seen all summer.  Hi, I waved back as he ran over.  "Where have you been?"  He told me he had secured a better-paying job at City Hall for the summer and was now back at school, but that he had "really missed" me.  I guess he meant my mouth, which I never censor with these cute kids who could be my grandchildren.  I say all the things they are thinking, but can't say........things like:

"I don't get how these heifers get to take up a whole lane when there are only four of them in the aqua-jog class.  And what kills me is they never lose any weight.  They just get bigger and bigger!  And by the way, if I wanted to look like the instructor (about 12 and the size of a hippo) I'd take her class," I added just for thorough meanness.  Thought M was going to fall in, he was laughing so hard.  After talking my ear off, he finally went back to work and I got to my laps.

Earlier, the teacher had asked me if I took one of the classes?  "Are you kidding?" I raved.  If you ever see me in one of those classes with those broads, shoot me," I clarified.  What are people thinking?  The problem with an aqua class is that no one ever puts his or her head underwater, so they don't get a really good cardio-vascular lung and heart workout.  They work their limbs, but they don't have to "breathe" underwater, so don't expand their lung capacity sufficiently to increase it.  One thing I know, I will not die of a heart attack.  I will die of "heart failure", as everyone eventually does, but not an acute attack. 

There is a wonderful camaraderie at the pool.