Insufferable

I just have to put it out there, in my opinion, Andrew Coyne is insufferable.  He's there, on the inside front page of the 'Opinion' Section of 'The Globe and Mail' every Saturday in all his stupefying verbosity with four columns of superfluous opinions and thoughts that go on forever.

A typical Coyne column -- never-ending!

Reading him reminds me of the stream-of-consciousness novels by Virginia Woolf I studied in university.  Every thought that comes into his head he puts down, yet he never gets to a point.  Sometimes, in the very last paragraph, he'll make one, but boy, you have to really hunt to stumble upon it!

He's also a fan of unnecessary words and complicated punctuation.  Here's a perfect example:

"The ruckus began, you'll recall, over the federal government's intervention in a case now before the Supreme Court of Canada involving a legal challenge to Bill 21, Quebec's infamous law banning the wearing of religious symbols across much of the public service, which for some religions is tantamount to a hiring bar."

Phew!  That was one sentence!!  The italics are mine, where these words are not needed.  But he loves to add them all over the place as they pop up in his tumbling head!  Here's another:

"To be sure, it would have no legal effect."  What's with the "To be sure"?  Just make your point.

I learned tight editing when I laboured under the ruthless red pen of the late Mrs. Jean Portugal at Maclean Hunter in the early seventies.  Back then, we used hot type, so every word cost money and Mrs. Portugal (never Jean!) cut out so many.  She was always correct and the work she handed back was much better than what I had submitted.  It was tight, clear and concise and I imitate her when I read columnists today who stick words willy-nilly into every piece. 

The peerless Mrs. Portugal on one of her exotic travels with her husband, Felix.

Coyne seems to be trying to show off his education and many degrees.  Doesn't work.  Ever seen him on 'At Issue' on Thursdays?  What a bore!  Talk about taking yourself inordinately seriously!  And to boot, he has no sense of humour, a sin in my world.  If you can't laugh at yourself, you're hopeless.

He can't.

He went to the London School of Economics and obtained an MA in Economics.  B got an MA from there too, but he went on a scholarship; Coyne didn't.  Guess from whom I take my economic advice?

So, that's my take on Coyne -- just my opinion, so don't sue me, but what I wouldn't give to be his editor!  His columns would go from four to one or two at the most.  Now and then I toy with the idea of sending him an edited version of one of his, but since I have many letters in there, I don't want to upset the apple cart.  

Andrew, if you're reading this, for Gawd's sake red-pen yourself!