Reading about the grotesque trial of five former junior hockey players charged with raping a then 21-year-old girl they met at a bar, I was once again reminded of why no woman ever presses sexual assault charges.
They don't because they end up being charged with luring, "wanting it" and "asking for it".
This is what is happening to the women named "E.M." in a London courthouse, as she is subjected to seven days of intense grilling by defence lawyers for the accused -- right down to the "sexy" shoes she was wearing that were brandished about and waved for all to see!
It is ludicrous.
Apparently, she had consensual sex with one guy, but then he invited all his buddies to come in and have a go. To this, she claims, she did not agree -- although her texts apparently belie this. As for the truth, no one will ever know. Her reputation, however, lies in tatters for the rest of her life.
That's why no woman ever presses charges. The consequences are too grave.
I can relate to her predicament. When I was 13, my orthodontist sexually assaulted me, but as my Mother was sitting in the waiting room, I did not make a scene. I mean, that's how so many of us were reared. "Don't make a scene, dear," she would say if a situation became heated or uncomfortable.
So, I said and did nothing.
Reading his obituary a year ago, I was tempted to add a remembrance of those horrible days trapped in his chair of horrors. I didn't, because I still didn't want to make a scene. But maybe I should have? I could not have been the only young girl he assaulted; there must have been many of us. Why did no one ever report him? For the same reasons I didn't. But reading his glowing obituary about how Dr. B was such an upstanding member of the community and president of the Britannia Yacht Club....yadda, yadda, yadda.........I have kept on speaking about him to friends and family -- although never to my Mother.
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Not always a safe seat. |
Ever heard of "date rape"? Ya, that also happened to me when I was 20 and visiting a friend's cottage with my cousin and her boyfriend. Again, I said and did nothing because his parents were in the next room and, "I didn't want to make a scene".
I did, however, get my revenge at a parent/teacher event at my children's elementary school, Rockcliffe Park Public. Who was holding forth as the president of the association? You guessed it, none other than Bill M. himself! So I sauntered over and greeted him, as he was impressing the gathering. "Hi, Bill, remember me? I was the girl you assaulted at your parent's cottage in 1968." He stopped dead in his tracks, turned red and then white, as a shocked hush fell over the group. He bolted immediately, laughing to minimize what he had done.
So, yes, I can relate to E.M. And don't kid yourself. It's still happening in doctor's offices and schools all over the world. Men of authority should be carefully monitored and parents should always warn their daughters about inappropriate touching. Always.