A faint tickle on the scratching of the surface

That's how one immigration lawyer described the 1,800 illegal residents being asked to forfeit their "Canadian" passports. And even at that, Canada being Canada, they will be given a chance to appeal and have a federal court hearing, so they aren't exactly being given the bum's rush. Apparently, these 1,800 don't even live in Canada, but rather have fraudently obtained Canadian passports, using criminal "consultants" -- or co-conspirators, as this lawyer put it -- to make it appear as if they do.........things such as fake residences, fake mail, fake accounts....all managed by well-paid criminals here. Not wanting to live here but wanting the passport, they come to Canada for a few hours and then jet back to their tax havens. With a majority, the Harper government is moving very quickly to get this mess cleared up. Hear, hear. No new laws will have to be written, no new bills passed. No, Canada will simply have to finally begin to enforce those already on the books.

As I have said, Canada is a country of convenience and a Canadian passort highly-coveted. In fact, that little, mainly ignored Crown on the cover of your passport represents freedom, tolerance and the rule of law to every border guard and immigration officer wearing a uniform in every corner of the globe. And with so many terrorists in the United Kingdom, thanks to Britain's previously-held realms, a Canadian passport trumps a British one any day.

Speaking of the Crown, 'The Telegraph' recently published a very lengthy and detailed article on what the Monarchy costs each Briton,versus what it brings into the public coffers. Fifty-one pence versus billions. With a gold standard like that, why anyone objects to Her Majesty is ludicrously beyond me. As for those Canadians pushing for a republic, they understand neither the Canadian Constitution, nor the place of the Crown in it. It is very unfortunate Canadian schools stopped teaching Canadian history. If they hadn't, people who think the Canadian legal system is based on the Charter of Rights and Freedoms would have to give their vacant heads an edifying shake.

Tax experts

I ramble glibly about delivering ad-hoc tax clinics around the country on social jaunts, but I just had a wonderful lunch with two women who could run circles around me in that department. Now retired, both worked in the money machinations of RevCan -- places where the $$$-rubber hits the road and the money gets collected. (I ran a program that gave money back to people whose accounts we had messed up.) But these two charming gals ran key parts of the revenue-generation system. As I always say, taxes make the world go 'round. And Canada is a world-beater in the revenue-sharing business, which is how wealth is re-distributed for the betterment of us all.

I remain very proud to have been a part of the Canada Revenue Agency, as it is now called. I was also very proud to have been with Customs and Excise. These are places that make the country work -- places where one can actually see how schlepping into work every day makes a difference. The colleagues I lunched with today were not token feminist appointments. No. They were skilled and experienced people who did a "real" job -- regardless of gender. It really is a pleasure to be included in their social circle. To have worked "in the trenches" in the money-collecting business in this country was an honour. I will miss them both.

Speaking of "real" jobs, we were delighted to have been at the graduation of our son-in-law in the Calgary Fire Department. Having spent six years in the fire service in Vancouver, he nonetheless had to start all over in Calgary and it was wonderful to watch the successful graduates last week start their careers. Being a fire fighter is a special, chosen profession. We are very proud of Colin.

Poor kid

He'll never play in the BC/Calgary football game he was so involved in on the plane. Fat, he lumbered down the aisle carrying a large coke and a huge chocolate bar. He was travelling alone and had the window seat next to mine. The minute we were airborne, he ordered pringles and an extra pepsi. Here was a kid of about 12, who was already very obese and getting more so. And there was not one ounce of food value in anything the kid put in his mouth in more than three hours. What kind of parents let their kid get like that? One of them had to have seen him off and helped him load up on sugar and junk. What's with that? Why would you disenfranchise your child like that?

Sad.

You knew I'd have to weigh in.....

...on the Women's Worlds Feminist Convention, being held here today. I'd like to drop in, but I dare not; the precious few men attending would be very disheartening. Let's face it, the societal ills the 1,600 delegates are trying to address, i.e., poverty, food and water insecurity, homelessness, sex trafficking and war rape, are basically caused by, well, men. No, it would be a gathering of well-meaning, empowered western women talking about the lives of their desperately poor disenfranchised counterparts in the third world in a fancy hotel across the street from a Parliament that isn't sitting. In other words, well-meaning, middle class socialists and activists talking to each other. Now, if the male power brokers who rule the world were attending, it might be a different story. But probably not.

One of the main objectives of the conference is to abolish prostitution. Now, there's a delusional fantasy if ever one existed. The reality is that women who have nothing but sex to sell to feed their families have to sell.....sex. That's because those who rule the world make decisions that result in the depraved conditions in which millions of women are forced to live (see list above). Prostitution won't go away, that's why I favour the Amsterdam model, where it can at least be regulated in relative safety. (I know that doesn't square with my Catholicity, but it does with reality.)

So, that's my amateur analysis. Think about it, if prostitution were outlawed, the millions of partners within legal and common-law unions providing sex for money would be in jeopardy -- not to mention the millions of divorcees who continue to get money for having previously provided the commodity. Our whole "civilized" house of cards would come crashing down on the heads of lucky lawyers everywhere.

With apologies to everyone..........

......who thought Princess Diana was a selfless saint, I have to say that Catherine makes her look like a brazen hussy, to use an old-fashioned expression. Just looked that up in the dictionary and hussy is described as "a pert, forward girl, a worthless woman, a housewife". (That last description is a bit galling, but there you have it.) Brazen is "impudent, shameless". So, I think that about describes her. I stopped being a fan when the marriage broke up and she fell headlong into screaming, all-encompassing narcissism. When she started traipsing around the world with her face hanging out, embarrassing herself and the monarchy she was supposed to be representing. You know, the people who were footing the bill, her former in-laws, and the future King of England, her son, so to speak.

But this young woman seems to be able to work the crowd without upstaging William. She is utterly charming. And somehow, if the unthinkable were to happen, I doubt she would behave as Diana did. More like Camilla, I would think. Absolutely mum.

Seriously

Saw coverage a few minutes ago of a guy who has become a privileged Canadian citizen today. Here is a man who can now carry the coveted Canadian passport, someone who is pretty much untouchable travelling throughout the world. But what was he decked out in? "His" country's Indian national dress. I. KID. YOU. NOT. I thought Canada had become "his" country? But no, here he was on national tv, having become a Canadian while proudly wearing his "national" Indian costume. OH. MY G-D., as my darling departed mother would have quietly wispered.

As I have said, Canada is now a "country of convenience" for many of the perpetually disgruntled.

Nailing the shoes

The Duchess of Cambridge is absolutely gorgeous. Resplendent in white, with a red facinator and red shoes, she nailed it. I love the fact that she gets the shoes right every time. Any outfit can be ruined by the wrong shoes, as we all know. Outfits have to be anchored top and bottom; hats and shoes accomplish this. How many times have we seen lovely dresses cancelled out by hideously-shod feet. Sadly, Ottawa is the centre of the "sensible shoe" universe. G-d I hate sensible shoes!

An enjoyable lunch on a Bell's Corners patio today came to an abrupt end when the happy little family seated beside us reaffirmed the chaos theory. There they sat, tubby Mum and chubby Dad, stuffed into chairs, single-mindedly scarfing unnecessary wings and fries, leaving two-year-old daughter and infant son to their own devices: colouring book and soother. As quickly as you could say "mind that glass", daughter had it inevitably and predictably splattered all over the table, chair and floor. But nevermind, Mum grabbed the kid, who by this time had started wailing, and immediately reassured it that everything was fine, she had done nothing wrong and don't-cry-darling. A hundred waiters and waitresses rushed to the rescue, while the rest of us gamely tried to ignore the mess. I would not want to be the next patrons sitting at that table trying to unglue their innocent shoes from the sticky, gucky, sugary floor.

It's always on these occasions that B tells me to "just ignore it". But, of course, I can't. I start remembering outings with our four and how we just did not permit them to run amok. Who wants to pay to sit beside families with unruly kids? The Dad was so unnerved he had to rush out for a smoke, while Mum ordered another grape drink for the kid and tucked back into her wings. Perfect.