Commonwealth Day and false eyelashes

They have sat patiently in my bathroom "vanity" (descriptive word for where they live) for more than two years, but I finally hauled them out, determined to conquer. I remember wearing them all the time when I was in my late teens and early twenties, but now they seemed so daunting and imposing. Do you put the makeup on first and then the lashes, or the other way 'round? What the heck, I plunged in and to my amazement, on they went. I felt as if I had two cardboard flaps above my eyes, but when I examined them in the mirror, they looked, well, kind'a normal -- albeit a bit flashy.

Watched a great documentary the other day called 'High Heel Confidential' and the eyelashes fitted comfortably -- or should I say "uncomfortably" -- into that same category: empowering. It was reassuring to watch women taking the viewer on a tour of closets jammed to the rafters with rows and rows of high heels. I am not alone and certainly not the only over-the-hill woman who adores them. Not having much discretionary fashion moola in my youth was the reason I had to get creative and inventive about footwear. That and earrings. I figured if you got the top and bottom right, you could just wear the same black outfit in between. That's basically how I dress to this day. Need a new outfit? Buy a pair of earrings, make a snazzy shawl, grab a wild scarf or get your a-- into a shoe store.

I knew I was taking a chance, wearing the lashes to an ultra-conservative event like the Commonwealth Day reception on Parliament Hill. On the other hand, when you get to be my age, who cares?! And no one did. But the whole thing felt like a new outfit -- and all for a few bucks at the cosmetic counter in Shoppers.

So anyway, there we were enjoying a marvelous evening on the Hill, in a beautiful and elaborate reception room, greeted by the Speaker of the House of Commons, the Speaker of the Senate and crowded with MPs, high commissioners and....the rest of us. As usual, the food was delicious, with hot serving stations in every corner, servers circulating with deletable and luscious morsels and a live quartet. The government does go all out and those of us in the Royal Commonwealth Society appreciate it.

But listening to the speeches, I had a moment. This occurred during one delivered entirely in French by the deputy speaker of the Senate (at least I think that's who she was, but don't quote me). Huh??!! French? This was Commonwealth Day and last time I checked, the common language of the Commonwealth was English. Period. To boot, her theme was exclusively about women. Hey, you missed that day, it was last week. I tried to conjur a similar scene at a Francophonie reception -- you know, someone speaking exclusively in English. Hello! Would. Never. Ever. Ever. Happen. This is the kind of thing that gets one's back up for no reason. Linguistic sensitivies need to work both ways. Seriously.