How did I stand it?!

At lunch today at the golf club, I spied a table of four women. I knew one of them. In fact, I used to work for her (albeit one level removed, but we had lots of direct contact). Nevertheless, to this day, she has no idea who I am. I have seen her countless times at the club and she just stares blankly through me. In fact, I would wager that if you weren't someone who could help her clamber up the ladder, she wouldn't know you five minutes after meeting you. And that includes the women she was lunching with!

It was only four years ago that I retired and about five since she became our assistant deputy minister, but she has no clue that I used to work for her. That's self-absorption writ large. That's unbridled hubris. That's someone who just cannot get out of her own chair. Know what I mean? And true to form, the only voice that rose above the others at her table was........hers. She held court and instructed her companions for two hours on everything from soup to nuts. Man, she knew it all. It was facinating to watch because when they first entered and sat down, each woman held her own, each contributing to the gathering. But I knew it wouldn't last, I knew what was coming and it did. As the lunch continued and the "refreshments" flowed, one voice started to take over: our gal the ADM. She could have been sitting with women who had cured cancer, split the atom, landed on the moon or been elected prime minister. Wouldn't have made any difference. The only opinions that mattered were hers. Period, the end. Brought back a lot of unpleasant memories of meetings during which I had to sit mute, agreeing with everything she dreamt up -- regardless of how ludicrous. It was the Emperor's New Clothes, or in the case, The Empress'.

I departed supremely grateful I am retired and do not have to take any more orders from this person. On the way home, B asked me why watching her performance had bugged me so much. "Just forget it," he said. I had to think about that and realized that if she were not retired, she was probably still putting women down and undermining their abilities, still stealing their work and taking credit for it, still being an overall bad manager.

Sadly, women are usually their own worst enemies. I can't tell you how many women I worked for over 40 years who did nothing to promote or mentor me. Not one, not ever. Men? Yes, lots and with much gratitude. But women? Not on your life. What did I say a few blogs ago about never underestimating envy in the workplace? Anyone with me here?