So, Hugh Hefner has died. The media is all over it, with many people saying he exploited women. I don't agree. Here was a guy who paid women well to pose naked for his magazine. They didn't have to do it, but when I was young and thought I was a liberated feminist, I too thought it degraded women.
Until I grew up and realized we all do sexual things for remuneration of some kind -- be it financial or otherwise. At least the women in his centrefolds took off their clothes, posed, put them back on and collected a handsome cheque. How is that not liberated? Hefner was a feminist, as opposed to our current prime minister who purports to be, but is actually a male chauvinist pig in the same vein as his father. Now there was a guy who put women down! Just ask the befuddled Margaret.
He took the girlie-picture trade out of back alleys and smutty corner stores and celebrated beautiful women. And those who worked in his clubs made good money to put themselves through college or do whatever they liked. In fact one ex-bunny said she felt safe, was very well-paid and if anything thought she was exploiting Playboy, not the other was 'round. Hefner was a liberal feminist, not a radical feminist. Unlike the radical feminist, who thinks women should not show off their bodies and be sexy, Hefner loved and celebrated women.
Never having ascribed to radical feminism, I nevertheless did very well as a working mother and wife and didn't once think I had to kowtow to a man to get ahead. I thought a woman could look good, wear high heels and do a professional job at the same time. No bra-burning for me. I consider myself a feminist because I have never relied on a man to support myself or my kids. I did it on my own -- no child or spousal support of any kind because I never wanted to have to ask a man for money.
But trading sex for money and support is what stay-at-home women do every day. That's what many marriages today -- and all in my mother's time -- are all about: the husband supports the wife and in return she provided services, including sex. While the playboy bunnies could collect a cheque and go home, women who are supported by their husbands are stuck. Them's just the facts.
I have a very attractive male friend who is 69 years old with a body that would rival most 20-year-olds. Women are crazy about him, but married and divorced three times with children and grandchildren, he no longer wants a wife or girlfriend so he pays for sex. "The last thing I want is to lead any woman on into thinking we have a future," he maintains. "So I am very upfront and tell them they are lovely and attractive, but I am not interested in a relationship," he says. "It's a lot easier for me to pay for it without any strings."
That is one of the most honest approaches I have ever encountered and I admire him for it. Instead of being dishonest and pretending he is interested in a woman, he just pays one of his high-class regulars and gets on with his life. With a huge annual income, he is also one of the most generous people I know with his family, friends and the ladies he dates. I admire the guy immensely.
As for Hefner, I wonder what Camille Paglia thinks? I bet she agrees with me. (Just googled her, she does.)
Thursday, September 28, 2017
Same thing, different year
The Civil War still rages in America. Now we have millionaire NFL football players disrespecting the American Flag. Why? Because the Civil War still rages. It's all about race. I mean, these guys are people who can play one sport, but have no clue about anything else, so why they think they have any business spitting in the face of their national flag is beyond the beyond. I mean, without the beloved sport of American football in America -- the America represented by the flag they are trashing -- where would these guys be?
The Obama presidency was also all about race. Every black American who hadn't bothered to vote for generations turned out and voted for a black man. Just because he was black. That's all it was about. In my opinion, Obama was a do-nothing president, basically a "chicken shit" afraid to take a stand. And look what he hath wrought: North Korea.
I am outraged that Americans are now calling out the Pittsburgh Penguins -- captained by and full of Canadians -- for looking forward to going to the White House. The American press should stay out of Canadian hockey, but what's more infuriating and dumb is that Sidney Crosby's hometown fans are also turning on him. Crosby says it is a great honour to be invited to the White House and it is -- regardless of the occupant at any given time.
American (black) football players in the CFL should also not kneel during our anthem. It's disgusting and disrespectful. We need to bring back the rule that stipulated more Canadians than Americans be part of the CFL because Canada is losing its identity on home turf. Why should black Americans in the CFL be bringing their Civil War to a Canadian football field?
Ah, look what money hath wrought.
_________________________________________
On the next topic, my fingers almost type themselves: The Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women Inquiry. Although I am sick of myself on this one, I have to point out once again that there is no point to any of it. The first hearings -- after almost two years! -- got underway in Smithers, B.C., and what did we witness? A native woman weeping over the death of her daughter who had been beaten and left to freeze by guess who? Yep, her own native husband. Why is this happening, she wailed while being comforted by a relative who wrapped her in a blanket. Why indeed?! Hey, it's your people, your culture, your way of life, so look in the mirror and ask yourselves.
As I keep saying, what is the point of all this? There are 40 others in the wings registered to tell their sad tales to no avail. As to the "highway of tears", this is the only route out of remote reserves from which natives want to escape. It's a "highway of tears" because women dangerously hitchhike alone along it to get to the city to do whatever they can't on the reserve. Get off the reserves, for Gawd's sake!
Frankly, I think the whole inquiry was dreamt up by the PM's chief coverer-upper, Gerry Butts, to have the relatives just go away and tell their tales to each other so the government appears to actually care. Trudeau probably does care, because he's stupid enough to not know the inquiry will accomplish nothing, but Butts just wants the whole thing to play out like a Greek Tragedy, with neither purpose nor resolution possible.
It's all so cynically ridiculous.
The Obama presidency was also all about race. Every black American who hadn't bothered to vote for generations turned out and voted for a black man. Just because he was black. That's all it was about. In my opinion, Obama was a do-nothing president, basically a "chicken shit" afraid to take a stand. And look what he hath wrought: North Korea.
I am outraged that Americans are now calling out the Pittsburgh Penguins -- captained by and full of Canadians -- for looking forward to going to the White House. The American press should stay out of Canadian hockey, but what's more infuriating and dumb is that Sidney Crosby's hometown fans are also turning on him. Crosby says it is a great honour to be invited to the White House and it is -- regardless of the occupant at any given time.
American (black) football players in the CFL should also not kneel during our anthem. It's disgusting and disrespectful. We need to bring back the rule that stipulated more Canadians than Americans be part of the CFL because Canada is losing its identity on home turf. Why should black Americans in the CFL be bringing their Civil War to a Canadian football field?
Ah, look what money hath wrought.
_________________________________________
On the next topic, my fingers almost type themselves: The Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women Inquiry. Although I am sick of myself on this one, I have to point out once again that there is no point to any of it. The first hearings -- after almost two years! -- got underway in Smithers, B.C., and what did we witness? A native woman weeping over the death of her daughter who had been beaten and left to freeze by guess who? Yep, her own native husband. Why is this happening, she wailed while being comforted by a relative who wrapped her in a blanket. Why indeed?! Hey, it's your people, your culture, your way of life, so look in the mirror and ask yourselves.
As I keep saying, what is the point of all this? There are 40 others in the wings registered to tell their sad tales to no avail. As to the "highway of tears", this is the only route out of remote reserves from which natives want to escape. It's a "highway of tears" because women dangerously hitchhike alone along it to get to the city to do whatever they can't on the reserve. Get off the reserves, for Gawd's sake!
Frankly, I think the whole inquiry was dreamt up by the PM's chief coverer-upper, Gerry Butts, to have the relatives just go away and tell their tales to each other so the government appears to actually care. Trudeau probably does care, because he's stupid enough to not know the inquiry will accomplish nothing, but Butts just wants the whole thing to play out like a Greek Tragedy, with neither purpose nor resolution possible.
It's all so cynically ridiculous.
Saturday, September 23, 2017
Let's make up laws
That's what a recent opinion piece in The Calgary Herald advocated. Entitled, "Judges need training on Indigenous ways", it was written by a female native, Anita Olsen Harper (never heard of her), and basically said that natives should be given special treatment in the eyes of the law. Really!? I think they already are, judging by sentencing circles and other separate measures.
I had to think a while before I wrote a reasoned letter to the editor, but I managed it. Here it is:
"Dear Editor,
"In Canada, the law separates church and state. This should also apply to keeping cultural traditions of any kind -- including Indigenous -- separate from the universal law of the land, to which all Canadians must abide.
"Otherwise, what would prevent other groups from seeking justice and redress under their own preferred unique and separate cultural systems? No country can operate if it applies different justice systems to different ethnic groups."
It was published today. Frankly, it has to be said because the law is the law and I don't care if you're native or Muslim, you have to obey it. The Canadian Constitution recognizes two founding peoples: the English and the French. I'm sorry if natives think they are the true founding people, but that's not the way the constitution was written. Canadian law is based on this fundamental principle -- even though Quebec provincial laws adhere to the more French "code civil" version. The Supreme Court is the final arbiter and that, my friends, is that. With 600 individual bands across this country, there is no way the law can accommodate them.
And that's as it should be.
I had to think a while before I wrote a reasoned letter to the editor, but I managed it. Here it is:
"Dear Editor,
"In Canada, the law separates church and state. This should also apply to keeping cultural traditions of any kind -- including Indigenous -- separate from the universal law of the land, to which all Canadians must abide.
"Otherwise, what would prevent other groups from seeking justice and redress under their own preferred unique and separate cultural systems? No country can operate if it applies different justice systems to different ethnic groups."
It was published today. Frankly, it has to be said because the law is the law and I don't care if you're native or Muslim, you have to obey it. The Canadian Constitution recognizes two founding peoples: the English and the French. I'm sorry if natives think they are the true founding people, but that's not the way the constitution was written. Canadian law is based on this fundamental principle -- even though Quebec provincial laws adhere to the more French "code civil" version. The Supreme Court is the final arbiter and that, my friends, is that. With 600 individual bands across this country, there is no way the law can accommodate them.
And that's as it should be.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
Three
That's how many times we had to circle back and start over to get out of downtown Edmonton! Duh! It's a mess of twisting and turning roads, uphill, down dale, lanes and strip malls via which one has to navigate in opposition to the 'NO ONE' allowing a merge. But we eventually found our way out of town.
What a weekend! Seeing Denis Shapovalov leave it all out on the court was thrilling. He is now in Prague, probably pinching himself as he leads the non-European team in the Laver Cup. There he is with the best North American players on a team captained by non-other than John McEnroe. And the kid is barely 18!
Stopping at a Boston Pizza for lunch on the way to Edmonton, we chatted up the owner, a 40-something man with Parkinson's. What a great guy. Stopping again on the way home, we had another great chat with Richard who "comped" our lunch. Speaking of "comping", when the waiter asked how dinner was in the hotel dining room, I said great, but the wine was not cold enough. Another courtesy glass promptly appeared. Asked how my salad was at lunch at the bar another day, I told the waiter I didn't like it because it had smoked bacon in it, something I can't stand, but hadn't realized was there. He promptly produced another sans bacon and didn't charge me.
I mean, don't ask if you don't want to know.
At the recommendation of the maître'd, we booked a formal tea in the main dining room. Trouble was, he hadn't reserved it afterall, so when we arrived, we were initially turned away. "Never mind me," said B to the apologizing host as I walked away, "It's my wife you have to worry about." A few minutes later, the entire tea service appeared in the bar, to which we had repaired to have a sandwich. It was glorious and I was very impressed. When we asked for the bill, the server said, "It's all been taken care of madam." I was stunned because that was a $150 gift, thanks to one of their staff having screwed up the booking. And the thing was he had picked the time, not we.
I guess it pays to tell the truth in a class hotel like that. But never mind, I figure we dropped at least $250 in tips over three days.
While we were there, a convention was underway. "Excuse me, where are you from?" I asked one gorgeous participant. "We're from 'Arbonne', an on-line beauty products company," she answered. "We promote beauty inside and out." Really? "Most of these young women are considerably overweight," I said injudiciously. She stared blankly. "They are probably working on that," she replied. I guess if you're an on-line company and no one ever sees you, you can get away with 20-30 extra pounds. Or maybe it's good business to sell to heavier women? I have no clue.
One thing that did depress me was the collection of young, homeless native men hanging out in the subway. Very menacing, they begged for money and rode about on bicycles almost knocking people over! At one point, we literally had to walk over one guy holding a hammer. There must be a better way to spend your day than threatening people underground.
But all-in-all, the trip was a lot of fun. And don't we all love to spend money on holiday!
What a weekend! Seeing Denis Shapovalov leave it all out on the court was thrilling. He is now in Prague, probably pinching himself as he leads the non-European team in the Laver Cup. There he is with the best North American players on a team captained by non-other than John McEnroe. And the kid is barely 18!
Stopping at a Boston Pizza for lunch on the way to Edmonton, we chatted up the owner, a 40-something man with Parkinson's. What a great guy. Stopping again on the way home, we had another great chat with Richard who "comped" our lunch. Speaking of "comping", when the waiter asked how dinner was in the hotel dining room, I said great, but the wine was not cold enough. Another courtesy glass promptly appeared. Asked how my salad was at lunch at the bar another day, I told the waiter I didn't like it because it had smoked bacon in it, something I can't stand, but hadn't realized was there. He promptly produced another sans bacon and didn't charge me.
I mean, don't ask if you don't want to know.
At the recommendation of the maître'd, we booked a formal tea in the main dining room. Trouble was, he hadn't reserved it afterall, so when we arrived, we were initially turned away. "Never mind me," said B to the apologizing host as I walked away, "It's my wife you have to worry about." A few minutes later, the entire tea service appeared in the bar, to which we had repaired to have a sandwich. It was glorious and I was very impressed. When we asked for the bill, the server said, "It's all been taken care of madam." I was stunned because that was a $150 gift, thanks to one of their staff having screwed up the booking. And the thing was he had picked the time, not we.
I guess it pays to tell the truth in a class hotel like that. But never mind, I figure we dropped at least $250 in tips over three days.
While we were there, a convention was underway. "Excuse me, where are you from?" I asked one gorgeous participant. "We're from 'Arbonne', an on-line beauty products company," she answered. "We promote beauty inside and out." Really? "Most of these young women are considerably overweight," I said injudiciously. She stared blankly. "They are probably working on that," she replied. I guess if you're an on-line company and no one ever sees you, you can get away with 20-30 extra pounds. Or maybe it's good business to sell to heavier women? I have no clue.
One thing that did depress me was the collection of young, homeless native men hanging out in the subway. Very menacing, they begged for money and rode about on bicycles almost knocking people over! At one point, we literally had to walk over one guy holding a hammer. There must be a better way to spend your day than threatening people underground.
But all-in-all, the trip was a lot of fun. And don't we all love to spend money on holiday!
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
If it walks like a duck.....
So, Gerry Ritz referred to Catherine McKenna as a "Barbie". Well, hello, she flaunts the "Barbie" look in spades! If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and looks like a duck, it's a duck. Unfortunately, Ms. McKenna has chosen "Barbie" as her duck and is thus judged accordingly.
As are we all.
How many times have I said, "We are our hair"? McKenna dyes her hair blonde and thus becomes a "dyed blonde". The expression, "You never have a second chance to make a first impression" holds for each of us. It did for me throughout my career and I am sure my wild earrings, short skirts, high heels and flamboyant scarves transmitted an image not in keeping with being promoted to DM. But one thing I let go natural was my hair as it turned grey -- a decision which helped balance some of my more unorthodox outfits. Had I decided to dye my hair, I would have been perceived differently.
B, who wore to the office the most beautifully-tailored 'Lou Myles' custom suits when I met him, also had to face the scrutiny of his more conservative (I was going to say "cheaper") colleagues because he refused to shop at 'Moores' to fit in at the PCO.
Now McKenna has actually had the unmitigated gall to start a fund-raising campaign. For what?! Send me $10, I'm not a "Barbie". Really!? I'm a "Barbie" victim?? Get over yourself.
As are we all.
How many times have I said, "We are our hair"? McKenna dyes her hair blonde and thus becomes a "dyed blonde". The expression, "You never have a second chance to make a first impression" holds for each of us. It did for me throughout my career and I am sure my wild earrings, short skirts, high heels and flamboyant scarves transmitted an image not in keeping with being promoted to DM. But one thing I let go natural was my hair as it turned grey -- a decision which helped balance some of my more unorthodox outfits. Had I decided to dye my hair, I would have been perceived differently.
B, who wore to the office the most beautifully-tailored 'Lou Myles' custom suits when I met him, also had to face the scrutiny of his more conservative (I was going to say "cheaper") colleagues because he refused to shop at 'Moores' to fit in at the PCO.
Now McKenna has actually had the unmitigated gall to start a fund-raising campaign. For what?! Send me $10, I'm not a "Barbie". Really!? I'm a "Barbie" victim?? Get over yourself.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Let's get out the beads...
...and pray some idiotic native group doesn't insist on re-naming 'The Fairmont MacDonald Hotel' in Edmonton because it was named after you-know-who -- the "demon" who established residential (boarding) schools. A magnificent and historic place, the MacDonald has a history that rivals any other CN (or is it CP?) hotel in this magnificent country. Why don't they protest sports' team names, such as the Washington Red Skins, the Atlanta Braves, Kansas City Chiefs or Cleveland Indians, to name a few. Aren't there better things for natives to focus on? How about holding their own chiefs to account, instead of expecting Canadians to "comp" their entire lives.
Please, pray with me on this one.
But I digress. The reason we travelled to Edmonton was to take in the Davis Cup match between India and Canada, in which the wonderful Denis Shapovalov thrilled the crowd. Thanks to his play, Canada won and will now advance. There he was, jumping up and down, taking chances and going for everything. The thing I love about him is he will try something and even if it doesn't work, try it again. He has charisma in spades -- as opposed to Raonic who is a wooden automaton, boring and never cracks a smile. Finally, Canada has someone to watch grow into a real star.
"Oh, that's the young guy I shook hands with this morning as they were checking out," said the doorman. What?! I had been wandering the corridors and lobby for three days trying to meet him and get a shameless selfie and this guy didn't know who he was! The team was staying on the same floor as we were, but I wasn't able to catch a glimpse.
I did, however, run into Daniel Nestor in the elevator and can now confirm he is as grim and soulless as he appears on court. "Oh, you played a great match this afternoon," I said with a big smile. Not only did he not reply, he didn't even acknowledge the compliment. "Hope you enjoy your retirement," cracked B as we exited. Ha! Good on B.
Lots more to talk about our little trip. Later.
Please, pray with me on this one.
But I digress. The reason we travelled to Edmonton was to take in the Davis Cup match between India and Canada, in which the wonderful Denis Shapovalov thrilled the crowd. Thanks to his play, Canada won and will now advance. There he was, jumping up and down, taking chances and going for everything. The thing I love about him is he will try something and even if it doesn't work, try it again. He has charisma in spades -- as opposed to Raonic who is a wooden automaton, boring and never cracks a smile. Finally, Canada has someone to watch grow into a real star.
"Oh, that's the young guy I shook hands with this morning as they were checking out," said the doorman. What?! I had been wandering the corridors and lobby for three days trying to meet him and get a shameless selfie and this guy didn't know who he was! The team was staying on the same floor as we were, but I wasn't able to catch a glimpse.
I did, however, run into Daniel Nestor in the elevator and can now confirm he is as grim and soulless as he appears on court. "Oh, you played a great match this afternoon," I said with a big smile. Not only did he not reply, he didn't even acknowledge the compliment. "Hope you enjoy your retirement," cracked B as we exited. Ha! Good on B.
Lots more to talk about our little trip. Later.
Sunday, September 10, 2017
OK...
...so you go to a Caribbean country during hurricane season, ignore mandatory evacuation orders and then cry when you aren't rescued after it all goes tits up. Apparently, Canadians trapped in these countries are upset that various consulates didn't down tools and rush to rescue them from their self-imposed mess.
Probably the same people either evading or avoiding taxes in Canada -- which, by the way, pay for your rescue. Reminds me of Lebanon a few years ago when the latest civil-war-du-jour trapped "Canadians" in that country who howled and screamed bloody murder that Canada wasn't doing enough to get them out. For them, Canada was merely a flag of convenience because they lived most of the time in Lebanon.
Please.
Indulge me as I continue to connect paying taxes with running an efficient country. And then you have heroes like my step-daughter and son-in-law, flooded out in Houston, who manned a boat rescue operation from their side lawn to ferry elderly neighbours to safety. With little sleep for almost two weeks, they have stepped up instead of waiting for someone to sail by and save them. She moved to Houston because she married a Texan -- not to escape taxes -- and has been a power of strength and example through it all. I'm very proud of her.
Probably the same people either evading or avoiding taxes in Canada -- which, by the way, pay for your rescue. Reminds me of Lebanon a few years ago when the latest civil-war-du-jour trapped "Canadians" in that country who howled and screamed bloody murder that Canada wasn't doing enough to get them out. For them, Canada was merely a flag of convenience because they lived most of the time in Lebanon.
Please.
Indulge me as I continue to connect paying taxes with running an efficient country. And then you have heroes like my step-daughter and son-in-law, flooded out in Houston, who manned a boat rescue operation from their side lawn to ferry elderly neighbours to safety. With little sleep for almost two weeks, they have stepped up instead of waiting for someone to sail by and save them. She moved to Houston because she married a Texan -- not to escape taxes -- and has been a power of strength and example through it all. I'm very proud of her.
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
To do what?
I know I go on, but what exactly is the point of the missing indigenous women inquiry? Folks, the facts are in. These women were engaging in very risky behaviour and it caught up with them. I mean, if you are a drug-addicted prostitute you are taking a chance with your life every time you go on a "date", as they call their encounters. Got nothing really to do with being "indigenous".
And if they weren't killed by their "dates", they were killed by men they knew well. The RCMP stats tell the tale, so what traipsing around the country listening to families cry is going to accomplish I have absolutely no clue? It won't bring their loved ones back and it won't change the facts.
To top it off, the commission now wants another year or two because it still hasn't got its act together. No actual hearings have been held! We are being held hostage by this hugely costly mess -- now to be compounded exponentially by the splitting up of the department of indigenous affairs. That is a cute trick to play for time, while everyone readjusts and plays musical political chairs.
Looking back and dwelling on the past is futile. Let's look forward and make some real progress. Start by getting off the reserves and integrating into mainstream Canadian life. You can still be a native and celebrate your culture -- just as the Irish, Polish, Chinese and every other ethnic group does -- but don't sit and stew pathetically in it. Too bad your leaders won't let it happen because that's how they get their money. Wake up.
And if they weren't killed by their "dates", they were killed by men they knew well. The RCMP stats tell the tale, so what traipsing around the country listening to families cry is going to accomplish I have absolutely no clue? It won't bring their loved ones back and it won't change the facts.
To top it off, the commission now wants another year or two because it still hasn't got its act together. No actual hearings have been held! We are being held hostage by this hugely costly mess -- now to be compounded exponentially by the splitting up of the department of indigenous affairs. That is a cute trick to play for time, while everyone readjusts and plays musical political chairs.
Looking back and dwelling on the past is futile. Let's look forward and make some real progress. Start by getting off the reserves and integrating into mainstream Canadian life. You can still be a native and celebrate your culture -- just as the Irish, Polish, Chinese and every other ethnic group does -- but don't sit and stew pathetically in it. Too bad your leaders won't let it happen because that's how they get their money. Wake up.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
A Big Day
This guy, seen here at less than one day old, just started "big boy" school. Hard to believe, but he did. And I had the honour of taking him to his first day. A teacher, his Mum had her own duties and his Dad, a firefighter, had a shift, so Grandma did the honours.
"Are you excited?" I asked him. He was, but little sister was upset he would not be going to daycare with her as usual. "Well, now you're a big girl," I told her, "going to daycare all by yourself! Imagine!" That did the trick, as I walked her in. Grandson said his goodbyes and we were off to "real" school.
It brought back memories of my own first day at kindergarten a thousand years ago. I still remember vividly walking into Miss Earl's class at Crichton Street Public. I still remember the sand box, my blue nap blanket with my name embroidered in yellow, Miss Earl's sensible black oxford shoes....it remains clear as a bell. I can only hope he will remember his first day.
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