This is a problem

With everyone tumbling out of the woodwork about having been sexually harassed or assaulted, we still have a problem.  Women continue to portray themselves in sexual ways and then wonder why men night want to have a go at them?  I know it's not politically correct, but if you dress provocatively, don't be surprised if a man flirts with, or propositions, you. 

Here's a picture from 'The Herald' today promoting an upcoming Christmas special.  Might as well have been out of the fifties:


Note the scanty outfits.  Just sayin........ 

 

But I have to say, I am glad people such as Matt Lauer and Charlie Rose are getting the heave-ho.  They have been getting away with sexual "murder" for years, so it looks good on them.  No one more self-satisfied than Charlie -- even though I did enjoy his guests.  Of course, it's all about power and those two have (or had) it.  I bet a lot of men are hiding under the bed, waiting for the other shoe to drop! 

Here's a guy who might regret his hug, but see how adoringly she gazes at him.  Go figure!?

This is the mayor of Tampa, congratulating a police officer.  Oops!

   



What's the point?

I was just upbraided by a fellow, unknown-to-me member of the Retired HQs CRA facebook group for posting a comment about what I thought about the ridiculousness of the agency now targeting rich neighbourhoods to see if people are cheating on their taxes.  I think it's crazy that with all the data we have, we are forced to resort to peeking into people's garages to see what kind of cars they are driving, or checking marinas to see if they have a yacht, to surmise if they might be avoiding tax.  I said I thought whoever was advising the minister should be fired.  And that's exactly what I think. 

With all the data we collect and with all the numbers we import from StatsCan, we now have to rely on postal codes and snooping to find out what's going on?  Frankly, the CRA needs to close the legal loopholes these people are using, instead of stalking neighbourhoods and spying on people. 

I was very proud of having been a part of the Canada Revenue Agency and it upsets me to see it trashed and ridiculed in the House of Commons and public thoroughfare.  But apparently, opinions are against the group's rules, so I have left.  Thanks to whoever put me into it in the first place, but what is the point of any group if members can't comment?  If it's just about who died, who went on vacation, who played golf and who retired, no thanks.   

A very costly arbitrary word

This letter went into 'The Calgary Herald' today and since I have no clue how to send links, I am re-posting it:

"Dear Editor,

"The issue about who is, or is not, Metis lies in the constitutionally-vague definition of the term.  A Metis is described very broadly as a person who is descended from mixed native and European blood, but it can also mean people who have lived among Metis, married into the society, are accepted by the community or self-identify as Metis.  This is what the Supreme Court ruled in 2003 and it can also include “non-status Indians”. 

Just to further complicate matters, one of the drafters of the Constitution Act of 1982 added the term “Metis” at the last minute to have it ready for the Queen to sign when she was here in 1982.  Because of the urgency, no one correctly calculated the downstream impacts of adding Metis to the document.

 "With the financial implications for 600,000 people, no wonder it’s become such an issue.

 

"Nancy Marley-Clarke"

 

The arbitrariness of it all is simply breathtaking!  The guy who just threw the word "Metis" into the mix was a New Zealander who came on secondment and went like the wind, leaving an unholy mess in his wake.  A champion and scholar of the Maori people, he thought he'd solve the same problems for Canada.  But all he did was cost us millions.  The reason I know this is because B was also part of the constitutional team and argued against it at the time.  But seriously, it was all rushed so it would be ready when Her Majesty arrived to sign.  

That's the kind of mess you can create by trying to be a hero.  Dumb.   

 

Pregnant and penalized

If you want to have a career and children, get ready to be penalized.  The problem is both biological and profession years bump up against each other:  Female biological and reproductive functions are at their prime at exactly the same time. 

This happened to me when I was pregnant with my son in 1975 and up for a promotion at the Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation.  I won the job, but when they found out I was pregnant, they cancelled the competition and a few months later appointed the guy who had come second.  The next time it happened, I was pregnant for my daughter and had to wear baggy clothes and walk around with files and envelopes covering my belly because again, I was up for a promotion. 

Didn't get it when they found out.

When I worked for DuPont of Canada long before all that, I went to a reception in Toronto and chatted with the then-president, Bob Richardson.  I told him it was too bad women were penalized for bearing the biological function of having children.  He scoffed, brushed me off and walked off.  Guess his wife was a stay-at-home.

With Trudeau apologizing to anyone and everyone for everything, he should apologize to all pregnant women in the workforce who were effed back then.  Now everyone gets a year off and maternity and paternity benefits, but back then I lost my job, had to go on unemployment and did not get my job back.  That was a bit of a sacrifice, I'd say, to come back to work after six months and find someone else sitting in your office.  My question is, why should all the natives and LGBTQs get an apology?  We mothers, who reproduce and contribute to the next generation, should get an apology too.  

But we won't.  Trudeau's wife is set for life; so many mothers aren't.  That must be how he views life.  But, that's the way it was and still is.  Women have a small window to reproduce, yet are penalized. 

Outrageous, but as a grandmother I am so happy I took the penalty.  I still had a great career, albeit with less money.  Money can't replace the joy I have with the wee ones.  All I can say to working women is hang in there and work, but have a kid or two.    

Last time I checked....

....December 25th was Christmas.  It wasn't "Holiday Day" or "Seasonal Day", it was Christmas Day.  Every year this bugs the sh-t out of me and it's doing it again this year.  Why in G-d's name do we have to do away with the term "Christmas"?  Because some people don't celebrate it?

Bullsh-t.  I'm surprised 'A Christmas Carol' hasn't been banned!  And 'Handel's Messiah' must be another sacrilege that should never be heard in the multi-cultural public thoroughfare.   

People have no problem with actual Muslim, Hindu and Jewish days being celebrated -- in fact they're publicized all over the place.  So why are Christians disenfranchised?!  And why do we put up with it?  When I was a kid, Christmas was Christmas and those who didn't celebrate stayed home, or joined in to support those who did.  Remember Nativity Plays at schools and churches?  Whatever happened to them?  It's complete bullsh-t and I'm sick of it.

What I remember is that the Jewish kids in my classes took their own holidays off, but they took Christmas as well.  I also remember asking a Hindu colleague of mine if she would be at work on December 25th.  She laughed at the ridiculousness of the idea.

It's time for those of us who celebrate Christmas and love Jesus to stand up and be counted.  Here's the button I wear every year:

   

    

     

Here's the deal......again

So, a native grandmother, testifying at the MMIWG inquiry says social services failed her family.  Really?  How about you failed your family.  Firstly, her 21-year-old daughter was found dead in a dumpster in 2013.  Why was she wandering the streets of Regina?  Yep, a drug-addicted street prostitute. 

The year before, her four-year-old granddaughter had died of a heart attack because relatives -- in whose care she had been placed in the wildly-unsuccessful and tragic native kinship foster care program -- starved her to death.  Why was the child placed in the first place?  We all know the answer to that one.

Another grandson was left motherless after another death and this grandmother took him in.  But guess what?  "Social services failed her family."  It's all so outrageous.  "Make sure these workers are educated on our history, our background, inter-generational effects.  Make sure the workers understand this, get to the background of why these kids are in care," she added, unhelpfully.  If your kids are in care, look in the mirror.

To blame "the system" is unconscionable.  But that's what this whole inquiry charade is about.  Your tax dollars at work -- not.

On another note, Harrison Thunderchild has taken his band chiefs to court to be allowed to see what's going on with the money.  Good on him.  "I don't consider myself an activist.  I consider myself a concerned person who's been driven to a point where I can no longer remain silent," he said.  Stephen Harper introduced the First Nations Financial Transparency Act in 2013, but guess what?  First nations don't like it and many don't comply.  No kidding.  Every other body receiving public funds must release audited figures, but the natives don't want to.  Wonder why?

And good on Charmaine Stick, a member of the Onion Lake Cree who last year won a court order requiring her band to disclose basic financial statements.  Hasn't happened yet because -- surprise! surprise! -- the band is appealing. 

With the billions we're talking, natives need to hold their own leaders to account.  Not the rest of us. 

Africa, a stupid continent

There is no such thing as democracy in the entire continent of Africa.  Why?  Because it's all tribal.  Finally, Mugabe has been ousted from Zimbabwe (formerly known as Rhodesia when everything worked better under British rule.)  Naturally, as in every other case, the military had to do it -- never mind that annoying encumbrance known as "parliament", with its annoying voting and such.  No, tanks had to roll in to get the bum out.

But guess what will happen now?  The military will rule for a while and then another leader will be "democratically" elected who will be yet another dictator.  That's just the way it works in Africa:  dictator, military coup, leader....dictator, military coup, leader....dictator, military coup, leader.....and on and on.

Same thing in all the "stans", i.e., Afghanistan, Pakistan, Kurdistan, Uzbekistan.....whatever.  It's tribal and brutal and G-d help you if you're a woman.  And when I think of all the lives uselessly lost in various ridiculous wars in those places, it makes me weep.  I was once upbraided by a self-exiled African at a cocktail party for pointing out that his whole native continent was "tribal".  He took great offence, but I added, "If it were so wonderful and democratic and parliamentary back there, why are you still here 50 years after you left 'temporarily' for an education?  Why aren't you back there improving your country?" 

Didn't go over too well.  Ah well, the ugly stench of truth......

Nimby-ism

That's today's watchword.  Now the Stoney Lakoda "Nation" want everything re-named with Indian names here in Alberta.  Really??!!  Calgary, the Bow River, Canmore -- you name it -- everything must be renamed because they don't want "foreign" designations on anything in Canada anywhere near their reserve. 

Hey, if that's the case, the entire country should be "Indian".  Not gonna happen.   

Calgary was not established by the natives, but by James Macleod who named it after the Scottish town in which his sister lived.  It's bad enough idiots want to erase the name of Sir John A. Macdonald -- the Father of Confederation -- from everything because in a well-meaning move the guy tried to educate natives.  Now the demand is for everything to be re-named.  That would mean Montreal would become "Hochelaga"....and on....and on....and on.....

You can't erase history just because fashion has changed.  The revered Langevin Block, named for Hector Langevin, has now been disgracefully re-named "The Prime Minister's Office".  What a joke. 

Margaret Atwood also practices "Nimby-ism".  She recently got into a big fight with developers in Toronto who had the nerve to want to build a not-very-high highrise condo in her tony Annex neighbourhood, which would have spoiled her view.  Eff off, Ms. Atwood. 

A very "white" ceremony

Watching the Remembrance Day Service from Ottawa and it struck me.  How "white" it was.  All the vets and most attendees were white.  Why is that?  I guess we all know the answer:  Canada is a "country of convenience" for most immigrants; they don't really feel "Canadian".

How sad. 

And speaking of sad, there was our disaster of a Governor General strolling about with her son!  As I have blogged, the occupant of the office represents The Queen of Canada, Elizabeth II, who would never have brought one of her kids along when on official duty.  Ludicrous -- a 15-year-old walking the receiving line shaking hands with revered veterans!  Ludicrous.  My step-son was forced into the role of "alter husband" when B and his ex divorced.  It completely screwed him up and I see the same thing with that poor kid.  Hey, if you divorce your husband, don't co-opt your kid into being your chaperone.  You wanted to go it alone, so do. 

As a child, I remember attending the ceremony at The Cenotaph with my mother, aunts and cousins. My late Uncle Rollie was a vet and always a part of the ceremony.  The last time we took him he was very old, but gamely stood to honour his fallen comrades.  I miss him to this day.  My own father and other uncle were not permitted to join up; the former being in the midst of inventing synthetic rubber and the latter running the finance department that funded the exercise.

When our kids were little and into their teens, we always took them out of school to bring them to "Confusion Square", as my mother called it, for the service.  B's father and two uncles fought, one dying at 23 on the march to Florence. 

Watching the service today, I was reminded of my step-son, Scott Marley-Clarke (see above), who used to be proud to attend with his father.  Sadly, since he asked for yet more money last March and was finally told "no", we haven't heard a word.  It has been eight months.  I would not like to be in his shoes when his father dies because G-d help him if he shows his face at the funeral.  How you can eliminate your own father, as he has done, is beyond me.  Unforgiveable.  I would give anything to have mine back.  RIP. 

A tribute

Dear Josie, only 19 and killed herself.  She was a staff member at the Calgary Tennis Club and one of the most beautiful people inside and out, with a smile that lit up the room.  The last time I saw her was at the club's closing party a few weeks ago.  She poured me wine and was her usual, charming self.

We went to her funeral today, but who knew what lurked under the surface?  One never does.  My brother committed suicide and frankly, nothing could have stopped him.  For those who say, "spot the signs and danger signals and intervene," I say you may, but you can't stop someone who is determined to kill themselves.

Rest in Peace, dear little Josie.  xoxo

 



Yep

Me too.  When I was 12, my orthodontist, Richard B, sexually molested me.  While confined to his chair, I would recoil as his hand "slipped" farther and farther down my chest until it was resting on one of my breasts.  Panic-stricken, I tried to tell myself he hadn't done it on purpose, but he had and I knew it.  And all the while, my mother -- who thought Dr. B the most gorgeous thing ever -- was sitting blissfully unaware in his waiting room.  Did I ever tell her?  Not on your life because I assumed it was my fault for being too cute. 

Even when he would tell me to stand up against the wall, because he said he couldn't see into my mouth properly (as if!!), and pressed his groin on me I still didn't say a word to anyone.  Again, it must have been my fault. 

Years and years later, I was invited to the Britannia Yacht Club and whose picture was on the wall in all its glory?  Yep, Richard B's.  He was the Commodore and I was sorely disappointed he hadn't been there because I would have confronted him in all his public splendor.  What still amazes me is that no one has ever charged him -- at least to my knowledge -- because I could not have been the only one he had done this to?!   

With everything that's cascading out about women and girls having been assaulted, these incidents come back to me.  So too did another that took place at a cottage when I was about 20, where a young man forced himself upon me.  In spite of my protestations, he would not desist and I, not wanting to wake up his parents by making a scene, eventually succumbed.  "Don't make a scene," was the watchword back in those days.  God!

When the phone rang in my hotel room late one night in Vancouver in 1976, I sleepily picked it up.  "Could you please come to my room, I want to go over the speech," said a prominent Quebec minister in Trudeau senior's cabinet.  Turned out that wasn't what he wanted to "go over".  Having just had a baby and no job, I was freelancing as a speech writer, hoping to get a permanent placement in a government department.  Knowing this minister was key in securing me one, I had to comply.  While not technically "rape", it was not consensual.  Or maybe it was rape, even though I did not physically fight his advances.  I felt obliged to succumb because he had the power and I needed him to use it for me.  That's just the way it was.  So much for Trudeau junior's "feminist" claims.  Please.       

The next day the cottage guy and his mother were laughing uproariously about it.  A few years later, when attending a parent-teacher event, I ran into Bill M again.  He was the chair of the association -- a supposedly upstanding citizen.  What a laugh!  This time I reminded him:  "Hey Bill, remember when you raped me at your parents' cottage in 1967?"  His adoring audience was dumbstruck, as he tried to laugh it off, but you have never seen anyone run away so fast in your life.

All this to say that so many of us have been subjected to sexual assault.  The key is to not let it ruin your life.  We all need to get over ourselves and get on with it.  Never be a victim.
_______________________________________

p.s.  I don't know why I haven't used these men's last names?  I should have more courage.  Google Pierre Trudeau's minister of Supply and Services and you will find one of them.        

Give her a copy of the Canadian Constitution

I told you Julie Payette was a dumb choice for Governor General and she has proved (I meant "proven", Bob) my assessment correct.  In her first speech, she actually crapped on "believers"!  This is the representative of Her Majesty, Queen of Canada and Head of the Church of England.  Hello, last time I checked, the Queen was a devoted servant of God and defender of The Faith at all times. 

Payette has absolutely no business giving her opinion on anything.  She is a figurehead and needs to shut up and cut ribbons.  How did the hapless Trudeau pick her?  "Hey, let's pick a woman," Sophie must have said one morning in bed.  "Great idea!" Justin must have replied.  "And what about a celebrity?" Yeah, let's go for it! 

So, they lighted upon the arrogant Ms. Payette.  She needs to read up on her role and, as I said, shut up. 

A friendship "poofed"

Des. 22, 2012 -- The Dreaded Christmas Letter
Dec. 21, 2015 -- The Hideous Christmas Letter

Read those blogs of mine and you will see what I think of people who turn the birth of Our Lord into a boring, tedious, hubris-ridden litany of  'who cares?'

We ran into the husband of an author of one of these ridiculous musings yesterday, when we ventured to The Palliser for lunch.  "Look who's sitting over there," I whispered to B.  "It's MG."  And indeed it was.  An old and valued friend of B's from his post-graduate days in London at the London School of Economics, M used to make it a point to get in touch with us whenever he came to Calgary.

Frankly, I'd rather listen to Jimmy than Warren -- the two Buffets, the latter of which M is a disciple of.  When the 2008 crash happened, the deputy governor of the Bank of Canada said he wished B had handled his finances.  We put ours under the mattress. 

No more.  Not since I blasted his wife in a couple of blogs about "Christmas Letters".  Why do people think anyone cares about what they did over the past year?  Why do they think the rest of us value so little what our year wrought they think we will enjoy theirs?  It's so insulting.  Sending out a Xeroxed copy of blah-blah-blah to everyone means the author couldn't care less about what we were doing in our little corners of the world.

"I'm just having a reflective lunch on my own," he said when B approached.  Translation:  Don't sit with me and don't ask me to sit with you.  That's the influence his wife must have had on him.  "All my friends think you're a terrible snob," their daughter said to this woman a while back when I was in the car somewhere in Toronto.  N was visibly shocked, but I wasn't.  In fact, she would have got on like a house on fire with B's ex -- two women who do not have a proper conceit of themselves. 

As the English say, the worst sin one can commit is to be a bore.  Not my cuppa. 



     

Ether bears

So, now natives are claiming territory based on ghost grizzlies.  After fighting in court for years -- making lawyers very rich -- The Supreme Court has struck down their claim of "religious freedom" in a case against a resort company that wanted to build in so-called native land.  Their case?  The natives believe ghost bears "haunt" the area.   

Thank G-d judicial sanity prevailed!  Has Beverley Mclachlin finally come to her senses?  According to the Canadian Constitution, Natives do not have a veto over anything, but seem to think they have.  The Crown's duty is to consult, not roll over.     

"These are our relatives," said the demented Perry Bellegarde.  "These ghost bears are our religion."  OMG!  I think maybe my mother haunts me.  Should contractors be prevented from building next to my home because Mom might show up in the ether?

It's completely insane. And as to the real grizzlies in the area, Fish and Wildlife and Parks Canada have that covered, thanks anyway.   

And speaking of insane, native child advocate Cindy Blackstock was on 'Power Play' today demanding more $$$$$$$$$$$$$ for native children.  These are kids whose parents have neglected and abused them, but guess what?  It's our fault they have been taken into care.

I can't handle much more of this.