Ready, aim, fire

 Except it was "fire, aim, ready" -- but without the "ready" and the "aim" parts.  That's how the vaccine was rolled out in Alberta.  Just "FIRE"!!!!

After it crashed at 8:01 a.m. yesterday, a minute after the booking portal had opened, I sat there for a while (see "Another eff up," Feb. 25/21) fumbling around, banging on enter and moving my mouse all over the table, until I finally reached a frozen screen and then another that said "page removed".  Gave up for the rest of the day.

Great job!

Later that evening, after hearing the health minister say everything had been fixed, I decided to try again.  This time the site had been "improved" and I was directed to a screen with a little green man walking along a looooong road.  "There are 13,685 people ahead of you.  Your wait time is one hour."  Again, I gave up, but again went back in to see how many people were still ahead of me.  Amazingly, after 20 minutes, there were now only 6,255 and my wait time was down to 30 minutes.  I stayed put.  

Fists clenched and palms sweating, I gripped the mouse and stared at the little green man, ready to pounce and click the minute my turn arrived.  God, please don't let my batteries give up!  Then it was five minutes, then my turn!  I was then directed to register.  Yay!  I'm in!  

Not so fast.

In fact I found myself in a sort of virtual holding pen playing whack-a-mole with the pop-ups and my mouse.  According to my postal code, I was given three options for the vaccine.  I jumped on the closest site and clicked.  "One spot left."  Furiously I clicked again to nab it.  Immediately, a message popped up, "That spot is no longer available, please choose another."  So I did.  Again and again and again.  For the next thirty minutes.  Gradually, I moved farther and farther away from my postal code, as "not availables" kept coming up and coming up.

I pictured thousands of seniors pounding mice (or is that "mouses?") while I did the same.  It would tell me a spot was open, only to tell me when I hit it it was no longer available.  Finally, I secured a spot in High River and slammed hysterically on the mouse.  First dose secured!  Yay!  Next message?  "There is no availability at this location for a second dose."  Hopes dashed, I finally found myself in Red Deer -- an hour-and-a-half away.  But Red Deer is where I finally secured two shots, four weeks apart. 

As I staggered an hour later from the office, exhausted and shaking clutching B's confirmation, he had the nerve to say, "Isn't Red Deer a little far?"  How he lived after that stupid remark is a miracle! 

So, Red Deer here we come.  Next go 'round it will be my turn to dance with the little green man when my cohort opens up.  As I said, what an eff up.