Makeup as life philosophy

Now that I am retired, makeup has taken on gargantuan proportions. My activities now revolve around whether or not I have to put it on. An event has to be weighed carefully if I have to apply guck to my face. Believe me, something has to be important for me to make up. Fifty years of wearing it have made me hate it, but without it I really do look hideous. I remember saying to my husband one morning, as I peered into the mirror first thing, "G-d! Imagine being a man and this is the best you're going to look all day!" Frightful. But vanity still rules and I will not attend an event without trying to look my very best. And that means Estee Lauder and I have to spend at least 15 minutes together before I venture out. The cost of makeup is appalling, but I pay it. I even went so far as to search out a discontinued foundation all over the US because it remains the only one that successfully masks my rosacea. So successfully that people actually tell me I have wonderful skin. Ha!

When will the makeup manufacturers realize that 14-year-old models don't need it. It is we -- the middle-aged -- who need it. Use us to promote your products because we have the money and the results are breathtaking. I am very lucky that I have a husband who couldn't care less about how I look most of the time. A while back I worked with a woman who had stayed home with her children during their early years, but who stopped in her tracks every day at 4 p.m. to dress and make up for her husband so that she would be gorgeous when he came home. At the time I was impressed; now I feel sorry for her. Dead a few years, she died young, but she looked great in her coffin. They say stress is a factor in cancer and she died of cancer. I really don't think she knew who or what she was.

I have several friends, my age and stage, who will not wear makeup, but who could mightily benefit from the sacrifice. I think they may be trying to make a statement -- "I don't wear makeup because I am a liberated woman." That might have sounded authentic in the sixties, but now they just looks like bags. Very sad because they are short-changing themselves by slotting themselves into a very tired stereotype. Note that Gloria S wears makeup and always has. So now does Germaine Greer. I think we are all inclined to listen to what people have to say if it is agreeable to look at them while they say it. I must add that I have no time for Gloria, but like Germaine and love Camille Paglia. One note of caution: too much makeup and a middle-aged woman becomes a harridan. Beware this trap too.

So, my love-hate relationship with makeup continues. I am relieved I can apply it and enhance my looks, but the minute I get home I race to the sink and wash it off completely. As women, we have this advantage and I intend to continue to enjoy it. With the luggage we hump, we deserve it.