Child poverty, Ann Coulter and a bit of truth

I hate to even mention Ann Coulter, but the fiasco surrounding her visit to Ottawa U is so embarrassing. U of O, or as a friend of mine calls it, "the university of zero", did not do itself proud banning Ms. Coulter -- whatever her views. Rhetoric aside, she should have been allowed to address the slobbering mob. How pathetic that small-minded, parochial students with an agenda and the vice-president (another paranoid parochial, one presumes) prevented it. Yes, she is controversial and I have not really kept up with what she has to say....except.....

I do agree with her views on single mothers. Strap me down and gag me when I attend a charity gathering where someone is extolling the virtues of single mothers and asking us to give money, while at the same time railing against child poverty. Is the connection between the two underworlds not obvious? And I am not talking about divorced women who call themselves "single moms", while cashing big cheques written by disenfranchised fathers kicked to the curb and relegated to life with their noses pressed against the glass watching the lives of their offspring float by. No, Ann Coulter is referring to the teenagers who get pregnant -- either through ignorance or by design -- because they have no life. More often than not, these girls condemn their babies to a life of poverty. I see it everyday. Children raising children. What hope do these innocent babies have?

The product of an unmarried teenaged mother myself, I am very grateful she gave me up for adoption so both she and I could get on with our lives. When I met my birth family, I was overjoyed to finally know my background. But the gratitude I felt for her giving me up far outweighed any thoughts I might have had about staying with her. That would have been disasterous for both of us. She thought of me, not herself. She did the right thing. She wanted more for me than she could ever have given. She came from a family "on relief". Her mother worked at the brewers' retail part-time and ran a boarding house. Her father had died. She had three younger siblings. She had to cope. She had to work. She had to pretend nothing had happened. I am in awe of what she did, of how she rose selflessly and bravely to the occasion. I was adopted at birth by wonderful people who gave me the very best upbringing. I had a large extended family, a first-class education, gifts unmentionable. Had my mother kept me, I probably would have ended up working in the Du Pont factory in Maitland. Many of my birth family spent their working lives there. Ironically, I worked for a time for Du Pont in Toronto and realized I had met my birth uncle, who worked in a senior position in Maitland. He even remembered me. Wow, what a random world!

I worked with a man whose 16-year-old daughter had become pregnant by her 17-year-old boyfriend. Everyone was thrilled! Gramps was busy rennovating the basement so the kids could have some privacy. Hello! Wasn't "privacy in the basement" the reason she got pregnant?!?! Well, the teens got married, the baby was born and presto-chango, the marriage "went for a burton". The baby is now being shuffled back and forth and raised by a motely and disgruntled crew of father/mother/grandmother/grandfather/grandfather/grandmother. And everyone hates everyone.

Teenaged mothers keeping their children is one root cause of child poverty. Make no mistake. Although I give regularly to homes for unwed mothers, I am conflicted. I give in the hope the children will benefit, but I have my doubts. The teenagers I meet there all plan to keep their babies. These girls are selfish and deluded about their futures and that of their babies. And why wouldn't they be? Sixteen or so , they still dream of the graduation prom and sparkles in their hair. It's all so cute, what with baby clothes and a new (read "subsidized") apartment to go to. I came from such a home, but my mother walked away and went back to her life. In so doing, she gave me the gift of beginning mine.

Today's pregnant teen drops out of school and we all know the rest of the sad story by heart. When the government stands up and says, "we have to stamp out child poverty", it is a sham. The elephant in the room remains. As long as self-centred teenagers keep their children and many become wards of the province, the cycle continues. The government can't stamp out child poverty unless society decides that single teenaged mothers are not to be exalted. They need to be given the support required to give their children up for adoption. That is my opinion -- the opinion of a very grateful beneficiary of the system.

So, that is one thing I agree with Ann Coulter about.