The British

"We like to keep ourselves to ourselves." This particularly British expression aptly describes my family. "The neighbours next door must not be encouraged into too great a familiarity and they are, of course, adopting the same policy. They may be invited in formally to occasional parties, for the British, surprisingly, are fond of formal entertaining. But otherwise they must be kept firmly on the other side of the garden fence or hedge."

Picked up a fascinating book entitled, 'The British...Portrait of a People' and it is filled with absolutely enthralling nuggets about all aspects of the Britishman's life. Hedges put me in mind of my mother, whose property was ringed with them. So important were her hedges that the only time I saw her cry was when my brother took the electric clippers to them a little too enthusiastically. She was beside herself. The book describes their purpose like this:

"Hedges are grown around houses and their sole purpose is to keep the world out and preserve the privacy of the occupiers from prying eyes and passersby." Absolutely the case at our place. We had hedges up against fences and they were quite tall. No one could see in and we couldn't see out.

If a British house doesn't have a hedge, it has an imaginary one. "The imaginary hedges are as absolute and daunting as if they were made of prickly thorn. Should your neighbour be working in his garden a few feet away from you, you do not acknowledge his presence. You cannot see him through the imaginary hedge. Should you wish to speak to him, you go out through your own front gate, through his front gate, around to the back door and knock on his kitchen door a few feet from the point from which you started."

The book also has a chapter called 'The Antifamily' which covers the purposeful hardening of British hearts toward their children. This is in part because of the British adhorence of nepotism. "The thought that a man might be selected for being a relation...rather than on his own merits, is repugnant to all right-minded Britishmen." I can remember my mother making me promise never to take her into my own home. At the time I thought it bizarre, but this book explains it all.

"The old people, usually short of money, short of food, short of heating, subject to sudden accidents and illness, whose long lonliness is eased only by a television set or a cat, are one of the great problems of Britain. Their relations do not wish to see them, except on rare occasions such as weddings, funerals and Christmas dinner."

How true. Next I'll cover 'A Nice Cup of Tea'.