Weird

Not having been a voyeur on a date with two gay guys, I experienced the next best -- or was it worst -- thing watching 'The Millionaire Matchmaker' this afternoon. This is another stupid, dumb show that I occasionally can't help but watch. Instead of the usual two male millionaires choosing among six or eight stupid, dumb potential female dates, this one starred two gay millionaires and six or eight stupid, dumb potential male dates. (So far, no bias here.)

Needless to say, I was riveted as they got to know each other and the two $$$-aires picked their dates -- to the mortification of the rejects heaved to the sidelines. Then it was off on the dates.

Hearing guys say to each other, "You have a beautiful smile, has anyone ever told you that?" Intimate giggling, "Occasionally." "I love that you're so sensitive and vulnerable. It shows you have a big heart. Don't be afraid to let your true feelings shine through. You're so sincere."

Gag me.

"I love your back muscles, you're really cute and hot, shall we kiss?" "Why not." Why, was what I wanted to scream. But they do. It's not often you see two men passionately kissing in a restaurant, but there it was in living, breathing, pulsating colour. How do you spell "unsightly"? Now, don't start, I can't stand a man and a woman kissing in public either (remind me never to move to Paris). I mean, it was unshaven to unshaven, muscles to muscles, biceps to biceps. Just breathtakingly incongruous and absurd.

This is afternoon TV on a regular, everyday channel. It's sort of like 'Toddlers and Tiaras' grown up. Or a richer version of 'Wife Swap'. Or a homosexual version of 'Teen Moms'. And unless you have controls on your set, the kids can take it all in any day after school.

Scary.

I know homosexual men are everywhere and intellectually I accept it. But watching it actually unfold was about as weird as it gets. Made me think about a study I had read about research done on the Thames River. In it, the authors postulated that the prevalance of homosexual men in certain parts of the world was caused by the excretion of birth-control hormones into the water supply by women on the pill. The study was originally designed to determine why so many fish were hermaphrodites; then they extrapolated.

Although I know I will be scoffed at and accused of raging prejudice by the usual suspects, but it all sounds perfectly endocrinologically plausible to me.