Calgarian grammar

"I haven't swam in ages," said a woman in the locker room this morning.  "You haven't swum?!" I said in correction, disguising it as a question.  But I doubt she got it, probably thought I was illiterate for using such a weird, unheard of word.  "I haven't came here in a while," tragically commented one of the young lifeguards on the pool deck.  "You haven't come here for a while?" I again said.  Thomas didn't get it either.

This is the state of grammar in Calgary.  Also read in 'The Globe and Mail' a column in which the writer wrote, "....a new sapling sprung up....."  It's just painful to me, but I must learn to admit defeat.  When our kids were young, we used to play a very catchy and popular game in the car.  I'd say a verb, such as "spring" and they'd have to tell me the other past tenses of that word, i.e., "sprang, sprung," in this case.  I highly recommend this exercise!

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As per my blog about no face masks yesterday, I wrote a letter to 'The Herald' and it went in today:

I must be the most didactic person I know because I seem to love telling people what's what.