Potty talk

At a dinner party last evening, talk turned to toilets -- or the lack of them in certain parts of the world, such as Eastern Europe.  One couple had just returned from three months there, visiting Bulgaria, Romania, the Czech Republic and other places in which I would never set foot, let alone spend money.  I had introduced the topic by saying I don't go anywhere where I might have trouble finding a toilet; they told me you have to pay to use them most places and that they actually have "toilet police" stationed outside to ensure people don't crawl under. 

See, that's why I would never go.  We then continued on the toilet theme, discussing such riveting topics as hovering, squatting (done in India, yuck), paper-on-the-seat or not.....etc.  I expressed shock when one woman said she never puts paper down in a public toilet!  G-d forbid!  That's one of my all-time cardinal rules: never ride bareback on a public toilet.  Ever. 

All at once I felt my age.  "What has it come to that our main topic of conversation revolves around toilets?"  It's definitely our age.  The National Arts Centre springs to mind when it comes to insufficient numbers of women's toilets.  Bumped into our family doctor a few years ago while waiting in an endless line to pee.  "Can you please give me a note to use the men's?" I asked him, looking on with envy at the no-line men's toilets.  Apparently, the industry has now upped the building code on women's toilets in public facilities.  But one has to wonder, what are we doing in them?  I guess hiking down and up pantyhose and other such time-consuming tasks, versus men who simply have to zip, go and zip.  However, I also suspect fewer men wash their hands post-pee.  Yuck again.    

But the world travellers told us horror stories about being swarmed by Romas, reminding me it's not for nothing they have the reputation they do.  And the wife was actually terrified when a Muslim taxi driver started screaming and raving about the gay pride parade they were driving past.  "Geez, wouldn't want to be his wife, daughters or sons," I said.  Don't get me started on that file.

Just had lunch with a friend I met at the pool and it gave me great pause.  A better swimmer than I when we met, she now has arbitrary brain cancer and needs a cane to get around.  Makes me realize there are worse things than toilet problems.