Those were the two words that B's ex said to him when they separated. Having read "The Women's Room", she thought she was "libber incarnate", a clone of Gloria and blood sister to Germaine and Betty -- in spite of the fact that she earned none of her own money and did not work outside the home, something I would never advise any mother to do. My mantra has always been, "Don't ever give up your day job, girls".
So, B had to defend himself and thus engaged one of the best family law lawyers in the country, Bob Montague. Sadly, sadly Bob died on Sunday. He was only 71 and I was shocked to my core -- so much so that I began to weep uncontrollably. Not that we were personal friends, but I credited him with enabling us to have a daily and close relationship with B's children, all because Mr. Montague won us majority custody in 1983, when this was unheard of. The raw emotion of all those years ago, when it was an hourly fight over every cookie, came spilling out.
Our case was also helped by Dr. Arthur Leonoff, a family psychologist who interviewed each of us -- children included -- and decided that B should have majority custody because he was prepared to grant access to the mother. "I have no confidence that the mother will do the same," he wrote at the time. Such was the precedent set that Montague and Leonoff subsequently co-wrote a family law textbook, based on what they had achieved for us. We are forever grateful and hope that other fathers benefitted from our case. No longer did fathers have to sit on the sidelines and toss money at their kids. They could actually co-parent.
It's a great loss and a sad day for the legal community. Rest in peace, dear Bob.
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