Gee, they're all older

That's what hit me when I watched Ottawa television last week.  Ian Black, the weather man (not a hippy-dippy one, I must add) was a kid when we moved to Calgary.  Now he has white hair and looks about 45?!  So were a bunch of other local TV announcers.  Gee, they had all aged, but I had not expected it.

We were in my home town to celebrate Christmas with my son and stepson -- the former having driven from Toronto in a bare-knuckle white-out to be with us for B's 75th.  The other thing that stood out was hearing French for the first time in almost six years; no one speaks it in public in Calgary.  My ear was still tuned and I spoke it frequently. 

We elected to stay in a bit of a dump -- the Hampton Inn -- because we were there for seven days and were more out than in.  What I mean by a "dump" is that there were only paper cups, no glasses, so a scotch didn't have quite the same taste.  The supposedly "Continental" breakfast consisted of wet eggs one had to consume alongside fellow ill-behaved guests, the great "un-washed", as I sometimes call them.  I tried it once and fled after a fat kid threw up in front of me.  Thanks. 

Entering the elevator one afternoon, I encountered two HUGE teenagers.  "Are you basketball players?" I asked.  "No hockey," they replied.  "They don't make 'em like they used to," one added.  No they certainly don't! 

Watching TV, I learned that search-and-rescue teams in BC had been trying to locate two lost hikers.  Sadly, my built-in assumptions kicked in when I learned they were Chinese.  The Chinese have no idea how to hike Cypress Mountain in Vancouver -- or any other place -- in an effing snow storm.  But by the time they called off the hopeless search, I can tell you many thousands of your hard-earned $$$$ had been spent.  Hey fellas, post a route so someone can find you!

For the trip home, we decided to upgrade to first class because the plane only had two washrooms.  If you're like me, you don't like standing and waiting because it must upset those seated in that area -- not to mention the fact that you don't like standing and waiting.  "I'm sorry, but you can't use that washroom," said the flight attendant on our flight to Ottawa.  We had paid for bulkhead seats, which are very close to the front toilet, but she was doing her job by telling us we had to go to the back of the bus.

My assumption that only first-class passengers would be permitted to use the front washroom was false on the flight home.  My G-d!  Everyone and their brother was swooping in and out of first class with gay abandon!  "Excuse me," I said to the stewardess, "we were not permitted to use the first-class toilet on the flight out, but I see you're letting everyone use it."  "Oh, that's because there's a cart in the aisle and people can't get through."  Bullshit to that.  Here we are paying an extra $650 to have a little exclusivity and people are tramping through, changing babies and slamming doors willy-nilly!  To top it off, the stewardess in charge of first class couldn't wait to throw our meals at us and high-tail it to the back of the plane to gossip with her pals and check her phone.  In fact, every time I wanted a wine re-fill, I had to hammer on the call button.  Made me feel like a bloody alki! 

Guess who'll be getting a letter of complaint from this broad!  Calin Rovenescu, that's who.          

Before I sign off, I have to say a word about French Canadian women -- or at least Eastern Ontario French Canadian women.  The middle-aged variety remain very classy and I enjoyed watching them at the famous 'Perkin's Family Restaurant' as we enjoyed a few meals there.  But I have to add that today's young-ish women are WAY TOO FAT!!!!  What the eff are they thinking??!!#%#%$^!!  If you are that fat in your twenties and thirties, what will you look like when you are my age!!??!!??

Sad.