Things that make a difference

It's amazing what impresses people.  When I worked for Customs and Excise a number of years ago, I heard the wife of one of the assistant deputy ministers had died.  I had met her at a number of social/business functions over the years and noticed that no one talked to her.  In fact, they pointedly avoided her.  So, I went over to chat.  Yes, she was very odd -- bordering on the crazy, judging by the wacko things that fell out of her mouth -- but I carried on.  When she died, I sent this ADM a sympathy card.  He was so grateful, as he told me at the first senior executive meeting he attended after she had passed.  

Next thing I know, I am being tapped for a new position as director of consultations for the newly created GST.  Why?  I can't be sure, but during lunch with the deputy after I had accepted the job, he told me that he had been golfing with Dick and it was Dick who had suggested me for the post.  Did my sympathy card play a part in Dick's thinking of me?  I believe it did.

A couple of years later, the DM's sister died and I went to the funeral parlour to pay my respects.  He was impressed; I was promoted.  Again, because of the visit to the funeral home?  Not totally, but these gestures indicate humanity and character, so I tend to think it had made an impression.  

When the ADM of personnel died shortly after he had retired, I went to the funeral and again, among the people who showed up were the ADM and the DM.  Others have such character, including a woman I had interviewed for a position I was staffing.  Before I had made the decision, my brother died and she sent me a sympathy card.  I was floored, but her gesture influenced me.

So, when in doubt, go to the funeral or send a card.