Life in the fast lane

It's been three-and-a-half years since I swam at the local public pool. Having been spoiled by having our own here in the condo, I had to re-join the masses this morning; ours is closed for a month while they paint it. Arriving, I presented myself at the desk and waited while the clerk looked me up. Yep, there I was, so she re-issued my card with my old photo. Man, talk about a shock! Back then I had many fewer grey hairs and many fewer facial lines. Depressing indeed to see what gravity has wrought in just a few years. Then it was into the dressing room, where I took a few moments to recover from the sight of so many middled-aged and elderly, naked women all trying desperately to ignore each other's hideous hides. Brought back a gruesome memory of several years ago, when I bumped into one of the kids' grade six teachers in the locker room and she wanted to have a lengthy chinwag -- all while stark naked! What a surreal moment -- chatting professionally with an exposed and unprotected Mrs. ........... and trying to pretend we were both fully-clothed.

Once in the pool I had to decide which lane to choose. When I started back swimming about eight or nine years ago, I barely made it one length in the leisure lane before collapsing in a lung-less heap, gasping for air. But as my heart-lung capacity improved, I graduated to the medium lane and pretty much stayed there until we moved to the condo. Today, much to my delight, I realized I now fitted right into the continuous fast lane! What a thrill! Now, I would never try this in the evening, when all the young crowd are pounding mercilessly up and down after work. But in the middle-aged cohort, I am now the fastest one in the pool! At least today I was. I haven't felt that rush for a thousand years and it felt wonderful. I actually had to push myself because one middle-aged guy was convinced there was no way I could possibly be faster than he. But he was thwarted as I pushed the "pace", so to speak, and kept the lead.

So, I did my 50 lengths and emerged 38 minutes later with quite a buzz on! Score one for the middle-aged broads!