That's the number of 40-something men I know and can easily recall who have never married and never had children. There may be more, but that's the number B and I came up with chatting this morning. What's scary is these are the same boys I and my friends raised. What did we do wrong? Why are they not married? Why are they not reproducing?
Obviously something effed up. Someone should do a PhD thesis on it, or write a book, because these are middle-class, used-to-be-young men raised in relative privilege and who now have good jobs and prospects. With the exception of two (brown and both doctors, by the way) these guys are all white. What's with that?? Were they looking for perfection? Did we, their predominately divorced parents, scare them off? Were they insecure? Did they suffer from superiority complexes? Did they suffer from inferiority complexes? Were we mothers too successful or too judgemental of the girlfriends they did bring home? (Guilty as charged on that one.)
This will be a short blog because I have no clue????
Funny, I did a blog piece on this recently - "Hedonism"... "while some were having their second child, I was having my second childhood". I've had two, short-lived, failed marriages. The first from age 25 - 30, the second age 45 - 50. It's not for me.
ReplyDeleteI was a teenager when I heard that the older you become, the less your chances (odds, not opportunity) of marrying. Only now do I believe it.
To steal a line from a movie about us matures, "I find marriage neither a necessity nor a convenience."
To each his own, I guess.
If anyone could do a PhD thesis on this subject it would be you. I have asked the same question to myself a million times???????? Great Blog thanks.
ReplyDeleteHi Nancy--
ReplyDeleteI'm white, had a mother who had an alcohol problem, but the folks stayed together...so maybe I was encouraged to (eventually) marry. Happened for the first time at age 33, after years of wild oat sowing. That marriage lasted 10 years, divorced her because she was never satisfied with her station in life (I was no abuser, FYI). Then had an affair with ANOTHER divorced woman for 7 years, tragic ending (not my fault, really), and now have been married 18 years to yet another divorced woman (Canadian), we're the perfect couple--we can take whatever the other one dishes out! I've been with women most of my adult life and hope to write about THAT one day. My OTHER area of expertise??
The americanada.us guy..
Yes, I remember your love-life history from your original manuscript (which I suggested you remove for the purposes of 'Americanada'. I don't think I'd ever go into mine!
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