It's always about $$$$$

"Sorry you haven't heard from me, but our daughter is going through a horrific divorce and things have been stressful since she and our grand-daughter moved back home."  This message came from a very old friend of B's today.  She finally explained why we hadn't heard from her, in spite of several cards, voice and emails. 

The italics are mine because this is the key word.  Having been married to a very rich man, the daughter's divorce is horrific because she is obviously trying to worm a lot of money out of the soon-to-be ex, but it's not happening.  That's what horrific means in my books.  Otherwise, why would any divorce be horrific?

His friend's daughter was an only child and she married an only child, the latter of whose family had oodles of dough.  Obviously unwilling to let their son give away the hard-earned store, the parents are right in there.  My advice to the daughter?  Get your ass right into court, take what the judge gives you and move on with gratitude. Get the best lawyer you can, but don't spend more than you have to.  In other words, don't use your lawyer as a psychiatrist.   

Cynical?  Yes, but I know from experience that an "acrimonious" divorce is always about money.  Acrimonious means "give me more money".  Period, the end.  B's divorce dragged on for seven years; guess what it was about?  Not his kids because we had primary custody.......it was about $$$$$$.  I always wondered why we had to give her money when we had the kids?  Why didn't anyone order her to pay us child support?  "That's the judicial attitude," explained our lawyer.  And all this degrading haggling from a shameless person who had tons of family money herself and trust funds up the ying-yang. 

What galled me was that my salary became part of what she wanted.  Huh??!!???  By the way, when my ex and I parted ways, I never received a cent in child support.  Nevertheless, we remained cordial and he visited, or took the kids whenever he wanted.  He even used to stay with us because I didn't want my kids to think I had denied him access.  I knew the divorce was as much my fault as his, so why play the "blame game"?  I had always supported myself and since I had custody of the kids (he moved to Toronto), I just carried on and supported them.

I remember when my ex and I married, I vowed to continue to support myself.  Can you imagine asking your husband for $2?  "What do you need $2 for," he might say.  "I need $2 for nylons," I might have had to have replied.  Forget that.  I had been well-educated, had a good job and earned my own money.  Taking a guy's money, even if it's your husband?  No bloody way.     

As I said, horrific is a synonym for $$$$$$$$.

Note I:  This rant brought to you by the dredging up of old memories.  Apologies, but it feels good every now and then. 

Note II:  B and I both had our marriages annulled, so everything's kosher.