My simple philosophy

Basically, people seem to live by a few very simple maxims within which everything  -- and I mean everything -- can be found.

Some people's outlook can be summed up with, "Enough about me, what do you think about me?"  At how many dinner and cocktail parties have we encountered this unspeakably tedious specimen.  A few years ago we were at a cocktail party and I became trapped by a bore blabbing on and on and on.....and on....until I finally looked at him and deadpanned something I had always wanted to say to so many: "You are one of the most boring people I have ever met."  He stopped talking and started laughing, thinking I was joking.  "I'm deadly serious and I can't stand it another second," I said as I turned and walked away.  I mean, seriously, please.

There are others who can be categorized as "egos on a skateboard", as B pronounced on another occasion.  G-d, don't we all know a bunch of those!  They're usually the types who don't listen to a word anyone else is saying.  Instead they are waiting for the mouth of the person at whom they are talking stops moving and sound ceases to come out of it (although this usually isn't necessary), whereupon they simply pick up where they had left off.

Because, obviously they know everything.

Another of B's brilliant sayings unfortunately applies to very few.  "Life is made up of small victories and mediocre defeats," he said one day out-of-the-blue.  How absolutely brilliant.  This refers to people who can actually "get out of their chairs" -- an impossible feat for most I encounter.

"If we could just separate the crap from the crap," he also said one day as we were driving up Ottawa's Carling Avenue.  I nearly fell out of the car because separating the crap from the crap is indeed difficult as we slog wearily through our days and nights.

So folks, if you think about everyone you know, I guarantee you will find that each fits into one or another of these categories perfectly.