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Thursday, September 5, 2013

I don't think so

"There's a grammatical error," I said to myself as I read the essay.  "and there's an error in punctuation."  Altogether, I counted approximately six grammatical, punctuation, or syntax errors in the piece -- including the title itself.  Unreal. 

Where was this?  In a Globe and Mail essay, written by a retired high-school English teacher, in which she bragged of her intolerance for bad grammar.  Oops!  I knew the minute I read the title I would find errors.  It has become a bit of a challenge for me and I have yet to find an editorial or article without grammatical errors in the many years since I began a relentless scrutiny.   

For starters, "Grammar police, c'est moi", the title, was incorrect.  It should have been, "Grammar police?  C'est moi".  You must have the question mark because it translates as, "Who are the grammar police?  They are I".  And by the way, it is not "me" because that would be akin to saying, "me is the grammar police".  See?  It's all so simple, but evidently ungraspable.

I know I bore the hell out of everyone with my "Nazi-like" approach to English grammar, but I love the stuff.  Stop reading, if you are a member of the "bored", but here are a few more examples:

"I thought at the time.................but it turns out..........".  Incorrect.  Should be, "turned out".  The tenses must agree.  Another:  "There is some evidence that I have infected generations."  Incorrect.  Should be, "There is some evidence I have infected generations."  The sentence works better without the "that".  More:  "A former student now working in a police station in California tells me that, for years, she has been designated the incumbent "grammar" police."  Should be, "A former student, now working in a police station in California, tells me that for years she has been the designated "grammar policewoman".  The commas are in the wrong place in her sentence and you don't need "incumbent" because it is redundant.  Also, one person can't be the "grammar police".

When it comes to "commas", insert one where you would take a breath -- a very easy rule-of-thumb which works pretty well.

You get the idea.  Hard to believe The Globe and Mail would let this run as the Holy Grail to grammar. 



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