"Well, after my mother died, my Dad got involved with another woman and married her. We didn't get along (read: I aggressively decided not to get along with her), so now my Dad and I don't speak." These sentiments were spoken at the pool this morning by a woman I swim with, a woman I thought had a few brains.
Guess she doesn't.
She has three young children who -- thanks to her selfishness -- will not know their alive-and-well grandfather. How dumb is that. Why does she think she has the right to "not get along" with her stepmother, thus depriving her children of a relationship with their grandfather?
As an adoptee, I actively sought out my birth relatives because that's what adoptees do. Nothing is more important to us than our genetic background. Where did I get my fingernail shape from? Where did I get my curly hair? How long did my mother live? How did she die? Why is my middle toe longer than my big toe? (The latter I like, by the way.)
But so many natural offspring don't even talk to their siblings and parents. I can't understand that -- unless, of course, there was rampant abuse of some kind. At a funeral a few years ago, I remarked that I hadn't even known "R" had a brother? And where did he live? In the same town she did! "You have a brother here and you don't talk to him?" I said. I was incredulous.
Some people don't know how lucky they are. Get over yourselves.
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My stepmother was abusive towards me. But I still continued calling my dad every week at his work 'cause She didn't like that we spoke. Dad didnt want to have to deal with her at home. The last time I called him was September 1, 1997. When I hung up I said I'd wait to see when he would call me. I waited for the first 10 years. Finally got the message.. Keeping his wife happy was more important than me. So be it.
ReplyDeleteOMG Tina, that's so sad. I know that Ivan secured your Dad a position on the BC Ferries, where I believe Steve was a captain, right? At least you tried and tried. That is what is important. When you lie down at night, you have a clear conscience. I know Ivan liked and supported him, so did Brian. Whatever happened between your Mum and Steve.....well?????? So sad for you. I just tried to reach out to my half-brothers and sisters, but to no avail. Hey, their loss!
ReplyDeleteHope your Christmas was a beaute!! xoxo N