A few lessons we can all learn

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought stupid than open it and have it confirmed."  So said B's grandfather.  "Don't argue the toss," was another of his maxims, also brilliant. 

How many of us do either?  Often delusional and thinking myself witty and entertaining, I adhere more often to the former bit of advice than the latter.  I do recall staying mostly silent in meetings when I first joined the ranks of the Canada Revenue Agency from Customs and Excise -- especially when I encountered the likes of "FHL", someone with impeccable technical knowledge.  Ignorant of "income tax stuff", I was grateful merely to take notes while my colleagues explained how it all worked. 

Too bad some family members don't take such wise grandfatherly advice to heart.  Some step-children hang onto divorce myths for years and years, spewing them into the long-suffering ear of a worn-out and too-patient parent.  Do they actually think the parent will be swayed by the recounting of one of the many fictional movies they are directing in their own heads?  The I-remember-when-so-and-so-said-such-and-such is such a bore -- especially after more than 30 years.  Who does it benefit, how does it help, what advantages can it offer upcoming generations to perpetuate these fallacies?  No one and none.

Often adult children attack a parent or step-parent because that child has married out of his/her station, or into another culture.  When inevitable clashes arise, the adult child blames the parent instead of realizing that the spouse he/she chose was the wrong one.  You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.   

I have to tell you I am not a proponent of the "there are two sides to every story" conjecture.  Truth is an absolute, whether you like it or not.  I remember telling a niece who could not get along with her new step-mother (the same one who does not like me) to get over it.  "You can't win that one because guess what, your Dad will stick with his wife, so you better decide to get along with her."  Happily it appears she heeded my advice.  Too bad many step-children still don't get it. 

If people think they can talk about others behind their backs in a nasty and cowardly fashion and get away with it, remember I have the blog and you will be called on your behaviour every time.