Been there, done that

A couple of famous "feminists" in the OECD have written an article in 'The Economist' about how working mothers cope.  Turns out, absolutely nothing has changed since I started birthing and raising children in the seventies.

These "brilliant" women may think they have discovered something, but all they need have done was given me a call.  Back in about 1971, I worked for Du Pont of Canada in Toronto.  Newly married, I was at a reception where I chatted with then-president Bob Richardson and said, "Mr. Richardson, why don't you consider creating a workplace daycare for women to bring their children?  It would be a real breakthrough, give Du Pont great publicity and actually allow the company to retain good employees who might otherwise consider leaving their jobs.  Sick leave would also diminish."

He said, almost spitting, "Oh for G-d's sake," turned on his heel and walked off.  That was my first foray into how women are treated when they try to combine a job with motherhood.  I decided then and there that this would be my problem when I had children.  No one -- including my husband at the time -- would help with the burden.

So, I bought a wife in the form of a live-in nanny and carried on for a number of years until I could move up to after-four programs when they were old enough.  One option I never considered was to have quit working.  As you know, well-educated women quitting work to sit on their asses when they have children is one of my great bugaboos -- something I saw all around me when I used to visit stepdaughter in Houston.  There they were, lawyers, geologists, petroleum engineers all sitting around drinking wine on their husbands' dimes throwing their educations into the toilet.  Stepdaughter did it herself after a good education and great career with a big hotel chain!  She tossed it all, claiming she was so fortunate to have been able to stay home with her children.  Balderdash.  Young children benefit far more from daycare than from sitting around at home watching TV or swimming in a neighbour's pool. 

What a negative example for their own daughters.

The breakthrough studies done by the "geniuses" at the OECD say that by giving parental leave to both parents, mothers will be able to get back to work sooner.  Trouble is, there has been little uptake on the leave by fathers because they know it will hurt their careers.  Trust me, it will.  While I had a great working life, I had to turn down a number of opportunities -- such as a stint in the Privy Council Office -- because I knew I could not have put in the hours required.  Seven-to-seven would not have worked for me and if you didn't work seven-to-seven at the PCO, you were gone. 

To show you how little society values child care, look at the wages it pays workers in the field.  So if a woman stays home to look after her children she is saying, "I am worth what a daycare worker earns, not what an engineer earns."  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the work daycare employees do, but why get an engineering degree if you want to be a daycare staffer?

In today's 'Globe and Mail', Janet Yellen bemoans the fact that there aren't enough female economists around.  Wonder if Ms. Yellen had kids?  Let's google her.  She has one, not too difficult to manage.  I had two, two step-kids and two dead-beat ex's, but still managed to keep the boat afloat.  If a woman wants to do it, she can, but she can't excel at everything. 

All I can say is, never quit your job and hang in there!
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p.s.  Just want to say that my dearest friend, with whom I holidayed recently in Kananiskis, just won the CHEO Dream Home of a Lifetime prize -- a $2.3 million home, $100,000 in cash and a Jeep Wrangler!!!!  Can you imagine that!!??!!  So happy for her.  No one better deserving.