Devastating

Learned from an old colleague yesterday that two of the nicest guys I ever worked with are dying of cancer.  One is 47, the other not much older.  Both have three kids in their late teens and early twenties.  Picked up the phone today and called both of them. 

Having worked for Revenue Canada, I know how to find people.  But these calls were brutal.  Both men were so surprised to hear from me because we had not stayed in touch.  But I loved them both and loved working with each.  They were smart and funny -- great combination.  At least I held it together while we chatted, but after ringing off I completely lost it and broke down weeping.  "Pray for my kids, I'm done," one said.  "My cancer is not curable.  They are just trying to prolong my life for them."  Man, talk about tough to hear. 

"They took forever to diagnose my cancer and by the time they found it, it was pretty advanced," said the other.  My eyes are welling up again as I type. I realize it is the last time I will ever talk to either of them.  It hit me hard because my birth mother died at 49 of lung cancer, which is the type one of them has.  Why am I so lucky?  Life and death are brutal and artibrary.